Next month I’ll be hosting an Open Studio on Saturday, June 10, from 2-6pm at my studio in East Hollywood. The event will feature Ghost Pearls, documentation of my large-scale installations and other works, alongside a tabletop pop up exhibition of sculpture by LA-based artists titled Epiphenomena. I’m excited to share Ghost Pearls with friends and colleagues in LA, and to have the opportunity for dialogue with such excellent artists in the pop up show. More deets to come.

I’m delighted to share that a new non-fiction essay of mine titled The Wave Readers has just been published in Conjunctions:80 Ways of Water. It’s been a dream to work with Conjunctions editor and founder Bradford Morrow along with the entire team, and I’m pinch-myself thrilled that the piece was selected to lead off this issue in such amazing company.

The past few years have been pretty wildly transformative for me (understatement) and every time I think it might slow down it seems to accelerate instead. As I look back, I realize that I’ve attracted a lot of ambiguous and ambivalent situations, because I’ve been ambiguous and ambivalent about myself. And across a bunch of dimensions that has been standing in the way of fully realizing myself and my gifts in the world, it’s not of service to those around me either. I need my energy to go to directness and real exchange. If people want to meet me in real ways, that is warmly welcomed and sounds like much fun; if not, that’s ok too and doesn’t in any way diminish my immense respect and gratitude for them. But it’s one or the other, real or not. It’s too painful to be a perpetual ghost, to be part of ambiguous situations without any direct, clear communication. I can’t do that, and more importantly, I can’t treat myself that way any more. Clarity and healthy boundaries are the spiritual foundation of good relationships, and healing in themselves, especially when we encounter them in warm hearts. All of my actions need to be congruent with those values, not just some of them. And I need to evolve to a higher standard, to be the woman I know I’m capable of becoming. Well, that’s enough with the seriousness. I have a bunch of dance floors to tear up, and I better get back to it.

I’m thrilled that The Pamplet—my ongoing series of essays on Substack—recently passed 1k subscribers. The support and encouragement for topics I thought were super niche has taken me by surprise. And I definitely underestimated both how fun it could be to write on the internet, and how much I have to say. Just getting started.

Dear universe, my birthday is coming up, and it makes me take stock. I deeply desire a loving relationship, more true friendships, and more positive reciprocal working relationships. I must admit that on the whole what I have been doing is not manifesting the above. Like a fool I keep wanting to connect with people who don’t want to actually connect with me, who don’t actually want me in their sphere, professional or otherwise, and who keep me at a perpetual distant remove—which is entirely my problem. I should know better than to want more from such situations, and it’s time I got the hint. These people are magnificent, taking exactly the actions they should for their lives, and I have immense, mind-bending gratitude for every aspect of their good, extraordinary gifts, and seismic generosity. But I need to find the ones who really do want to build stuff and have adventures and fun and instigate delightful silliness in this wild world with me. I’m worth it, and I do my best to give it every day. I’ve met a few such friends lately, and they show me what has been missing. Though once again, no one else is to blame here, this is 100% my responsibility. The I Ching says: It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any sort of self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized. To be completely vulnerable with you dear universe, I’m upset about my birthday. It feels like I’m fucking up, and I genuinely don’t know what to do. The only solution I know is to follow what the I Ching says. Nothing changes in my life until I change, so I’m taking some time to work on myself.